Hey Holden,
I connected with ya bud, even if it was in the most intangible way. I didn’t have a dead brother, nor did i attend a boarding school – although mine does have some big douches and “phonies”, but with all that i never once made the insane action to travel to New York for three days of pure smoking, drinking, and trying to pick up whatever kind of bitches you could. But with all that said i cant help but feel sympathy for you. I want to try to help you understand that life is not about finding the faults in people; it is about looking beyond it and surfacing the good. It is the same as helping those nuns, you showed them generosity and they exchanged their kindness towards you. That in itself is the building of integrity that makes life all worth it in the end.
Just a few tips and honest points to help you out in the future. You are a phoney. We all are to be honest. The truth can be subjective sometimes and that is what it means to be an individual. Also stop asking the taxi drivers about the ducks. They don’t know and nor do they care. Also don’t go out and try to get all these whores. For one its expensive, and two you could catch something which would make matters way worse. Theres nothing i can really say to you about Allie, nothing that will make things better anyways. I have never been in that boat to lose someone close like that, but maybe talking to anyone, about anything might help even the slightest. And for Jane, just don’t let her know you described her as being “muckle-mouthed”, for some reason, ya know being a girl and all i don’t think she would take it as a compliment.
But in reality, you are not that different to other people. Everyone knows what it is like to be sad, to be happy, to be angry, and especially to be lost. It’s how we relate to one another. We all wonder the same spectrum of human emotion and experience, and that is just something that you have to realize. Just focus on yourself and you could be a catcher in a number of ways.
So there ya go. Good luck with it all friend.
Sincerely,
Jennifer